Geek Movie Review: The Grey

I’m about to get crude and graphic, but The Grey is what I call a Natural DD movie. Natural DD look awesome under a sweater right? Liam Neeson looks awesome fighting wolves. Then you see a little more of those DD, it rocks, cleavage or maybe a swim suit. When I saw more clips of The Grey I got excited, but sometimes, Natural DD are gross, they can be veiny and have wierd giant nipples which completely kills the allure, and this movie was a huge veiny tit.

Did this guy really just compare my movie to a fat boob?

I will give The Grey this, they pulled me in, I wanted to see this so bad I went to a midnight viewing, but then I wish I would of stayed home killing wolves in Skyrim instead of watching Liam Neeson kill ONE! Yes, just ONE damn wolf! I’m not saying I need mindless violence to hold a movie together, but if you are gonna have a weak story that was stretched out of a short story (Ghost Walker by Ian Mackenzie Jeffers, a pretty good read) you need something extra, like maybe some character growth. The many plot holes are glaringly obvious if you think about it. What happened to the other boom sticks he said there were six? Why didn’t the one guy speak up when Ottaway began to lead the group if he knew he was suicidal? How dumb are you to go to the low, heavily wooded area next to running water if you were trying to escape living creatures? How did the annoying guy’s leg heal up so quick? What ever happened with the harvested trees? All questions that start to break the movie down.

I made this just for you guys!

The characters were all very two dimensional, Liam Neeson’s Ottaway was the most fleshed out, and he was kind of dumb, as you discover by the end of the film. The other characters were only given small snippets of personality just so you may care about them when they die, an always slow, painful, uncomfortable death. The one character given some character was ex-con Diaz played by Frank Grillo, but by the time he’s established you want him to die. The characters were all acted well, each one seemed very real, spurting random facts about wolves they heard on Dora The Explorer and making horrible survival mistakes. The Grey does fall to the horror movie mistake of loud sounds to scare you a few times, a gimmick that always irritates me.

Hi Ho Hi Ho it's off to die we go!

The movie was directed well, some shots were beautiful and the cinematography was amazing. I enjoyed looking at the harsh environment, the fantastic dream sequences, and the action scenes, but pretty doesn’t make a good movie(Ask Avatar). The graphics were okay, you could really tell what was CGI and what was Animatronic, but you get over that pretty quick since the wolves are shown very little.

I bet you were expecting more of this, and less of people walking in the snow.

The thing is, I was entertained, the movie thought it was being very philosophical, but the corny premise kind of squashes that dream, but it was worth a rent. I give the movie a C based on the solid acting, beautiful scenery, and Liam Neeson being a bad ass. The twists were very predictable, but just go into it with an open mind, after all, it’s still a huge tit.

About Brandon C. Williams

I'm one of the main contributors to 8 DAG and I take pride in my other job as Public/Staff relations. I'm a comics and movie junkie and I love to podcast. Follow me on Twitter @BrandoCop
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  1. The point where I was the most upset was where the last guy died, and Neeson didn’t die there. Everybody knows water is bad in cold situations. He didn’t have another change of clothes, he just magically was dry. He was DRENCHED.

  2. I give this movie a “MEH”

  3. Going into this movie, I thought the premise was this: Oil workers in Alaska, their plane crashes in the middle of nowhere, wolves stalk them, bad-ass Liam Neeson takes charge and leads his group bravely and brilliantly, even if they all must die. Everything there was true except for “brilliantly”–Neeson made so many stupid survival mistakes I couldn’t stand it. Some people argue, “No, you don’t get it, it’s a character study, not a survival movie.” Sorry, for a movie like this to work the Neeson character should have known what he was doing. It’s like when you see a heist movie like “The Town,” you want the heists to be good, right? Or else what’s the point?

    By the end of the movie, I wanted Diaz to say to him, “You know, I told you you were a big, dumb, Irish f–k and you kicked my ass. Then everyone made you their leader and thought you knew what you were doing. But I was right all along and you’re getting us all killed. So f–k you.”

  4. The immune to cold Neeson was one of the failing points of the film, and Paul you are dead on, survival movie or not, Neeson is supposed to know about wolves. He knew less than a college dropout who spens his free time making fart jokes about mega man. (me).

  5. Going back to the questions he asked in the very beginning of the post, don’t any of you realize that he answered many of his own questions with his other questions? Also some of them only require a little common sense to answer. Especially the ” where did the harvested trees go?” If you only thought before you typed that you’d know they were HARVESTED!!!! Also “that one guy” who’s name is Pete didn’t know Neeson was suicidal at all Neeson never told him he was and Pete didn’t follow him when he was going to shoot himself, no one knew about that but Neeson. And yet again a lot of the “Glaringly Obvious plot holes” are “Glaringly obviously” understandable if you only think in the mindset of the survivors, as in the fact that the plane crashed, adrenaline is clouding your thoughts and also the fact that your being chased by well organized blood thirsty animals forces you to get out of any open spaces… that and the sub-zero temperatures further lowered by the wind that batters the men because there weren’t any trees where they were, plus the human nature is to find covered areas to create a shelter, its a psychological fact. plus the guys leg didn’t heal but he got another huge adrenaline rush which helped him muster through the pain until he stopped and the pain caught up with him as the adrenaline flowed out of his blood stream. the one thing I agree with is the boom sticks, they only used three and they just left the other three, i doubt they just forgot their main means of fending them off, also did anyone notice the shells he picked up right after the plane crash were shotgun shells not rifle ammo, he didn’t bring a shotgun on the plane.

  6. Near the end of the movie the 3rd dark haired guy decides to die by the side of the river and the 2nd blond-ish guy introduces himself and it goes something like this “my first name is Pete” “you look like a Pete”… yet when they leave him and continue on, Liam and “Pete” slip and jump into the raging river however Liam is calling and yelling for the guy but calling him HENRY! Who the hell is Henry? and then Pete-Henry drowns in the river. Fair well Pete-Henry and fair well to my immersion in the drama.

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