Last One Standing: Captain Edition

Captain Marvel

Main Attack: A flying punch with super human strength

Main Weapon: His powers as Earths Mightiest Mortal

Battle Cry: SHAZAM!

Captain Planet

Main Attack: Nature Themed attacks

Main Weapon: Children with powerful weapons, which he supplied

Battle Cry: The power is yours!

Captain Morgan

Main Attack: Incapacitating his opponents with drink.

Main Weapon:A delicious spiced rum

Battle Cry: Is there a little Captain in you?

Captain Falcon

Main Attack: Falcon Punch!

Main Weapon: Falcon Punch!

Battle Cry: Falcon Punch!

Captain Ron

Main Attack: Bar fighting

Main Weapon: Fists or empty bottles of rum

Battle Cry: Don’t Worry boss.

Captain Hook

Main Attack: Eye gouging

Main Weapon: A hook hand or his pirate sword

Battle Cry: I hate that Pan!

Captain Kirk

Main Attack: Phaser blast or a karate chop

Main Weapon: Phasers, charm

Battle Cry: Can I F&%K it?

Captain Kangaroo

Main Attack: Hitting is bad

Main Weapon: Love

Battle Cry: Here comes Captain Kangaroo!

Captain Crunch

Main Attack: When the corner of the little yellow nugget stabs the roof of your mouth.

Main Weapon: Crunch

Battle Cry: Crunch-a-tize!

Captain Hammer

Main Attack: Face Punch

Main Weapon: Fisticuffs

Battle Cry:My penis is the hammer.

Captain America

Main Attack: Shield throw

Main Weapon: Round shield

Battle Cry: Avengers Assemble!


Winner: Captain Crunch. No one can deny Crunchberries. NO ONE!

About Brandon C. Williams

I'm one of the main contributors to 8 DAG and I take pride in my other job as Public/Staff relations. I'm a comics and movie junkie and I love to podcast. Follow me on Twitter @BrandoCop
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  1. Yellow nugget stabbing the roof of your mouth…LOL Classic.

  2. Yeah, well, its my weakness those delicious nuggets of pain.

  3. I keep imagining this as an animation and the best part of it is the razor sharp golden nuggets of pain raining down on the various captains and slicing everyone up.

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