Captain Marvel
Main Attack: A flying punch with super human strength
Main Weapon: His powers as Earths Mightiest Mortal
Battle Cry: SHAZAM!
Captain Planet
Main Attack: Nature Themed attacks
Main Weapon: Children with powerful weapons, which he supplied
Battle Cry: The power is yours!
Captain Morgan
Main Attack: Incapacitating his opponents with drink.
Main Weapon:A delicious spiced rum
Battle Cry: Is there a little Captain in you?
Captain Falcon
Main Attack: Falcon Punch!
Main Weapon: Falcon Punch!
Battle Cry: Falcon Punch!
Captain Ron
Main Attack: Bar fighting
Main Weapon: Fists or empty bottles of rum
Battle Cry: Don’t Worry boss.
Captain Hook
Main Attack: Eye gouging
Main Weapon: A hook hand or his pirate sword
Battle Cry: I hate that Pan!
Captain Kirk
Main Attack: Phaser blast or a karate chop
Main Weapon: Phasers, charm
Battle Cry: Can I F&%K it?
Captain Kangaroo
Main Attack: Hitting is bad
Main Weapon: Love
Battle Cry: Here comes Captain Kangaroo!
Captain Crunch
Main Attack: When the corner of the little yellow nugget stabs the roof of your mouth.
Main Weapon: Crunch
Battle Cry: Crunch-a-tize!
Captain Hammer
Main Attack: Face Punch
Main Weapon: Fisticuffs
Battle Cry:My penis is the hammer.
Captain America
Main Attack: Shield throw
Main Weapon: Round shield
Battle Cry: Avengers Assemble!
—-
Winner: Captain Crunch. No one can deny Crunchberries. NO ONE!
Yellow nugget stabbing the roof of your mouth…LOL Classic.
Yeah, well, its my weakness those delicious nuggets of pain.
I keep imagining this as an animation and the best part of it is the razor sharp golden nuggets of pain raining down on the various captains and slicing everyone up.