Last One Standing: Captain Edition

Captain Marvel

Main Attack: A flying punch with super human strength

Main Weapon: His powers as Earths Mightiest Mortal

Battle Cry: SHAZAM!

Captain Planet

Main Attack: Nature Themed attacks

Main Weapon: Children with powerful weapons, which he supplied

Battle Cry: The power is yours!

Captain Morgan

Main Attack: Incapacitating his opponents with drink.

Main Weapon:A delicious spiced rum

Battle Cry: Is there a little Captain in you?

Captain Falcon

Main Attack: Falcon Punch!

Main Weapon: Falcon Punch!

Battle Cry: Falcon Punch!


Captain Ron

Main Attack: Bar fighting

Main Weapon: Fists or empty bottles of rum

Battle Cry: Don’t Worry boss.


Captain Hook

Main Attack: Eye gouging

Main Weapon: A hook hand or his pirate sword

Battle Cry: I hate that Pan!

Captain Kirk

Main Attack: Phaser blast or a karate chop

Main Weapon: Phasers, charm

Battle Cry: Can I F&%K it?

Captain Kangaroo

Main Attack: Hitting is bad

Main Weapon: Love

Battle Cry: Here comes Captain Kangaroo!

Captain Crunch

Main Attack: When the corner of the little yellow nugget stabs the roof of your mouth.

Main Weapon: Crunch

Battle Cry: Crunch-a-tize!

Captain Hammer

Main Attack: Face Punch

Main Weapon: Fisticuffs

Battle Cry:My penis is the hammer.

Captain America

Main Attack: Shield throw

Main Weapon: Round shield

Battle Cry: Avengers Assemble!

—-

Winner: Captain Crunch. No one can deny Crunchberries. NO ONE!

About Brandon C. Williams

I’m one of the main contributors to 8 DAG and I take pride in my other job as Public/Staff relations. I’m a comics and movie junkie and I love to podcast. Follow me on Twitter @BrandoCop

Bookmark the permalink.

3 Comments

  1. Yellow nugget stabbing the roof of your mouth…LOL Classic.

  2. Yeah, well, its my weakness those delicious nuggets of pain.

  3. I keep imagining this as an animation and the best part of it is the razor sharp golden nuggets of pain raining down on the various captains and slicing everyone up.

Get the conversation started