American’s have debated heavily over the likability of Presidential candidate Mitt Romney as the heat builds and battle lines are drawn in this Presidential race. It is no question that his rival, President Barack Obama, carries a likability factor to rival Miley Cyrus. It was this trend of likability that carried him on wings of gold into the oval office in 2008, triumphing over the then deemed, “crazy grampa”, Republican candidate John McCain.
McCain as we all remember carried no likability factor. Often compared to a withered old oak tree, alone in the woods. His inability to acknowledge the existence of computers and constant communication by US postal service left him out of touch with American public, who is used to phoning in their votes and “liking” their favorite things on facebook. McCain attempted to set up his own social network sight for “liking” him in 2007. Located outside of Ft. Worth, the small sight featured a duck pond and rows of picnic tables in front of a gazebo for listening to him tell you his status updates. There was a booth to the left for “poking” him physically where McCain would release a Pillsbury Dougboy like chuckle to everyone’s delight. Though the social networking “sight” featured a sign in book for “liking” it only received 65 signatures and was eventually stolen by local teenagers.
The Republican “presumed” nominee Mitt Romney hopes to defy this trend and build on his own likability factor. Thus far he has only managed to distance himself. Challenging other Republican candidates to money duels and suggesting the American people borrow their way out of debt from their rich parents. Representatives for the Romney campaign have alluded to the wealthy Republican candidate building his own internet and possibly a Matrix to create a virtual world where changing ones likability is only a few ones and zeros away.
President Obama, who’s Twitter following is shy of Justin Bieber’s, still manages to corral fans with his charasmatic smile and a plethura of cooky Instagram uploads. The President may have to exercise some more of that charisma, following the recent ruling of the Supreme Court on the Affordable Care Act, to bring back the lull in his followers. Gov. Romney attempted to jump on this lull, comparing the Affordable Care Act, and the way it forces Americans to buy insurance or pay a tax, to the time his father forced him to spend his monthly allowance on gold stock instead of the fleet of yachts he and his friends had been eyeballing.
Though Romney has a lot to learn about relating to the American people he is confident that he will solve this problem. Simple business strategies have worked in the past. Like pouring enough money into something until it gives back, or no press is bad press. A spokes person for the Romney campaign says they’ll sell Romney to the people like coca-cola if they have to. “It’s too bad American Idol has already finale’d this season,” said the Mich. Governor, “I’m confident I could “persuade” the judges (Mr. Romney did the air quotes with his fingers) to side in my favor. Where can I buy an auto tuner and what is an auto tuner?” Whatever the case, I’d expect to see some heavy Romney branding in the near future. November approaches and the likability factor still hangs in the air.
This has been Eric Bookout with your fabricate report. The Fabricate has been fabricating news stories for the American people online since 1906, and will continue to be your number one source for fabricated online news from 1906 forever. Follow us @TheFabricate on twitter or @werewolforigin or contact us via email on this sites homepage.