Salutations and greetings! You must have traveled a long and trying path across the internet to wind up here! Sit down for a while, relax, and enjoy what I have to say. As you probably guessed, my name is Tom. I’m here to share some of the crazy shit that runs through my mind. I’m an avid gamer; I play everything from World of Warcraft to Call of Duty to Magic: The Gathering. I love all things funny. I like a lot of Sci-Fi and Fantasy things. That’s about all I have to say about me.
So about 6 months ago my friend Jeff decided that we needed to share the crazy stuff we come up with. At first, I wasn’t really sure how it would work out. I wasn’t sure if I was funny to other people, or if we were just enjoying our own humor. So we started up a group on Facebook called WWTKD (What Would Tom Kimes Do?) and started inviting all of our friends. We set it up as a Q & A forum, having people ask me serious or comical questions which I would respond with a serious or comical answer(usually as few serious answers as possible). I was surprised at how well it took off. Over time, quite a few people have joined and left the group. Some people loved it, some people didn’t. I’m rude, crude, and offensive at times. You have to do what you have to do for the sake of the joke. Anyway, enough about me and how this came around, and here’s our first batch of questions. Let’s start it out with 2012 and the pending apocalypse!
Dear Tom Kimes, if the year 2012 will bring the apocalypse, out of all the supposed endings which one would you prefer the most?
Well, the rapture has already happened 3 times…(R.I.P. Macho Man) I suppose that my preferred ending would have to be zombie apocalypse. What else am I going to do with this cricket bat? A close second would be Planet X obliterating Earth, but I would seriously hope whoever engineered this universe would have created a fail safe for such an event.
Dear Tom Kimes, is next week really the beginning of our last year on earth?
You better believe it. Get your bucket list ready, it’s a short year so you’re going to have to cram. We’re ending this one 10 days early. Personally my bucket list includes meeting Chuck Norris, sword fighting with a yard o’ beef on the moon, and riding on a segway. Hope I can make time to fit it all in.
Dear Tom, what should I fear more? The rise of the apes or the rise of the hipsters? I need to be prepared for the new year.
I think the answer is obvious, but I’ll take a stab at it. Apes throw feces. Hipsters throw bitch fits when you tell them you don’t like Pabst. Personally, I’d rather deal with bunch of apes than a bunch of hipsters. Maybe they can all catch a ride on Planet X when it bumps into Earth.
That’s all for today! I’d love to answer any questions you have. If you think you have a question you want me to answer, you can send it to me in an email at tomkimes@8daysageek.com. You can follow me on Twitter, I’m @DarkMenzo. Feel free to ask questions there too!
Tom signing off, time to go play “Hide and Go Fuck Yourself!”
