Top 8 Lamest and Coolest Final Fantasy Characters

Final Fantasy has had so many characters over the years, some were awesome, and some sucked hard core. These are my top 4 of both.

Top 4 Lamest

8: Quina (IX)

You know she's a ... he's a .... cook?

Quina is a mixed bag, I used this powerful blue magician for the amazing abilities like Mighty Guard and White Wind,  but this long tongued tranny was treated as a joke by the rest of the game, adding into the lameness is the fact that Quina talked like a retarded caveman.

7: Algus (Tactics)

God, even your clothes are whiny......

Algus wasn’t horrible, in Tactics he was a useful ally and became a great archer, if you controlled him. Being controlled by possibly the worst A.I until Louis from Left 4 dead took that honor. Plus, Final Fantasy has no lack of whiny characters, but I dare say Algus was the whiniest.

6: Aeris (VII)

What is up with your hair? I'd stab you through the gut too.

Here’s where I get some hate, I believe VII was possibly the weakest of the series, until X-2 or XIII, and even though it’s hard to choose the worst from a pile like that, I’d have to say the soon to die Aeris (or Aerith???) is by far the worst. She was underpowered and you lost her before any battles with an actual challenge happened. A lame death that lacked emotion in my opinion in a game that takes itself way to seriously.

5: Relm (VI/III)

You look like your from the pages of Neil Gaiman comic.

Some people like Relm, I call those people “idiots” She had a lame ability that had a low success rate, horrible stats, and more often than not you would turn Relm or her creepy grandpa into an imp so you could use the sweet imp equipment.

Top 4 Coolest

4: Auron (X)

I’m drunk and I have a giant weapon, lets kill some gian whale dragon thing!

Taking a lesson from every bad ass rebel out there Auron was the epitome of cool, he only used one arm to fight, he carried around his liquor gourd wherever he went, and he even told death itself to go screw itself. This is the epic man who hopped through a dimensional portal to say “Hey kid, let’s go kill your dad.” Awesome.

3: Irvine (VIII)

Leather pants, purple shirt, and a cowboy hat. That explains why he's trying to bang all the ladies

Another candidate for me getting some hate, I loved VIII, it had deep emotions, a clever linear story line, and characters with great personalities. Irvine is by far the coolest, a sawed off shotgun toting cowboy and a land where monsters roam, plus he was great with the ladies. Oh, did I mention he was a trained killer, an assassin for hire! So what if he began to flake during the most important hit of his life, you saw that cut scene, straight head shot.

2: Kain (IV/II)

This armor sure is .... pointy

Although I’m not a huge fan of IV (II here in the states) I knew that Kain was to cool for words, a bad ass Dragoon who would make even the toughest knights wet themselves. Armed with only his awesome lance he was one of the coolest characters to ever grace the screen, and he rode a dragon around, can’t beat that.

1: Kefka (VI/III)

Kills families, whole villages, most the planet even, all with a smile!

This may be a strange choice since everyone else on the list is a hero, sort of. Kefka is a villain that makes Sephiroth look even more like a whiny mamas boy and he’s a clown so evil the Joker would have nightmares. Easily my favorite villain in the Final Fantasy series, and he did one thing no other villain in the franchise was capable of doing, he won.

 

So FF geeks, did I get it right? FF VII geeks, are you ready to flip out on my hate?

About Brandon C. Williams

I’m one of the main contributors to 8 DAG and I take pride in my other job as Public/Staff relations. I’m a comics and movie junkie and I love to podcast. Follow me on Twitter @BrandoCop

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